Our firm heard from several new clients that they were inspired to begin their estate plans after reading Before All Is Said and Done by Pat Miles and Suzanne Watson. While we are always grateful to receive inquiries regarding estate planning, we are also appreciative when a new resource is available to clients that provides additional help and insights. For example, this book includes chapters on unique situations of loss, such as: stepchildren, loved ones with dementia, proceeding after a sudden death, grieving death during a pandemic, and the loss of spouses in the military. The book also includes a list of resources for people who have lost loved ones.
Our financial assistant, Marie, read the book first and then kindly shared it with me. Both of us agree the book is insightful, and we look forward to discussing it with our families and friends. While we encourage anyone interested to read the book in its entirety, we think these points in particular are valuable and worth sharing.
First, this book emphasizes that it is written not only for people who have lost spouses, but for people who want to plan ahead and prepare for end of life events as much as possible. While you and your family may be alive and healthy today, you may also find that you are not prepared for complications that can occur at the end of life or when health becomes unstable. In these situations, providing care to loved ones becomes the top priority. During difficult times and duress, it is quite possible you may not think or even care about drafting or updating legal documents. It is important to have estate planning documents prepared and updated before circumstances are emergent.
Second, this book centers on grief and how encompassing it can be for loved ones. Grief is not just physical loss and emotional toll, but also the administrative requirements to process a loved one’s death. Those who have lost loved ones may find solace in the chapters on grief, discussing feelings of loss and loneliness. While the demands of everyday life can cause stress, the added stress of estate administration can affect the ability to grieve. Our office strives to provide supportive assistance with estate administration to ease the burdens for our clients who have lost loved ones. It is not lost on us that the grief of losing a loved one can make simple tasks feel impossible. We found one of the helpful tips provided in this book for navigating grief is identifying something meaningful to you every day. This practice is likely beneficial for everyone, regardless of the stage of grief or loss. While it can certainly be challenging, taking care of yourself looks different for everyone and making yourself the priority as you heal, we agree, is of the utmost importance.
In addition, this book clearly supports working with an estate planning attorney you can trust. It may seem like drafting your own documents is a time and cost saving exercise, but often this approach does not include the entire picture of your estate plan. In most cases, financial accounts also need to be organized to best effectuate the estate planning documents that have been put in place. Not to mention, drafting your own documents does not mean they have been done correctly, and your estate may incur more expense later on if your documents are not clear or are incorrect. Our office assists clients in organizing their assets by preparing an asset sheet that lists all financial accounts, account ownership, and beneficiary identification. Lists like this are very useful both for staying organized during life and upon death for ease of administration.
We agree it is important to pick an estate attorney who feels like the best fit for you and your unique experiences. We often tell clients during their initial consultation that the estate planning process is truly all about our relationship. Trusting relationships are best built well before they are needed, not during times of tragedy and stress. We believe you should choose an attorney who can explain procedures to you in a way that makes you confident in your understanding and decisions. We welcome clients to bring someone you trust and feel comfortable with you for support during an estate planning meeting.
Lastly, after you have found a good attorney you are comfortable with, this book promotes (and we agree) that it is of the utmost importance that you understand your documents and how they work for you. You should not rely on assumptions or hope. And you should feel empowered to ask questions, even if they feel silly to ask. The following quotation from the book summarizes this notion perfectly: “The aftermath of a death is not the time to begin the process of understanding legal documents.” The book reinforces that individuals and spouses need to understand their legal documents and their financial information as well. We also consider it essential that both spouses understand the legal documents being drafted and signed. We have found that it is common that spouses may have divided household tasks with one spouse having greater understanding over finances and bills. It is important that spouses share information regarding finances, even if one spouse oversees the financial information more than the other. To assist in understanding, our office prepares a binder for clients that includes important information such as legal documents, financial accounts, and any other useful information. Our binders also include an asset sheet and a digital property inventory where clients can keep passwords and online account information in one place. These binders can be helpful even when both spouses are alive but when one spouse may become incapacitated.
Once your estate plan is prepared, we encourage clients to review their estate plan at regular intervals to ensure it still matches their wishes and current circumstances. It is recommended that you select a calendar date each year to sit down and review your legal documents. You may also wish to consider sitting down with your children and ensuring that they understand your estate plan and your wishes as well.
This blog is not intended to be an exhaustive list of the best takeaways from the book. We encourage you to read the book if you are interested in learning more about grief, loss, and being prepared for both. Our office is available to answer questions you may have about preparing estate planning documents, organizing your financial accounts, and administering an estate for your lost loved one. Our office is comprised of compassionate, experienced attorneys and support staff who are here to support you in your difficult times and help you prepare for the future.
Written by Tori Kelm
The material contained herein is for informational purposes only. It does not create an attorney-client relationship between Galowitz • Olson PLLC and the reader. By viewing our blog, the reader understands that the information herein is not offered as legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for legal advice. Readers are encouraged to consult with an attorney for questions related to a specific situation or concern.
